Discrimination Inflicts Harm, Not Our Marriages... Letter to Attorney Genl Bondi

By Nadine Smith, CEO of Equality Florida

My wife and I married in Vermont in 2009, and we committed, in front of friends and family, to love, cherish and protect each Nadine-Andrea-Loganother for the rest of our lives.  Our son Logan, now three years old, only added to our joy as a family.
 
However, we live and work in Florida, a state that refuses to recognize us as a family.
 
To add insult to the ongoing injury of denying our marriage, Attorney General Pam Bondi has taken the position that recognizing marriages of couples like us would “impose significant harm.” Those are the words she used in a brief calling for the dismissal of a lawsuit that would recognize gay couples married in other states.  Worse, AG Bondi invokes the outrageous and thoroughly debunked claim that impugns gay couples who are raising children.
 
"Florida's marriage laws have a close, direct and rational relationship to society's legitimate interest in increasing the likelihood that children will be born to and raised by the mothers and fathers who produced them in stable and enduring family units.”
 
Bondi is now trying to spin the content of the brief and distance herself from her own words, claiming she is a neutral defender of the marriage ban amendment approved by voters in 2008.
 
Under a hail of criticism, Bondi released a statement that attempts to walk back inflammatory portions of her brief, by pretending they don't exist. She tries to explain away the “public harm” comments as a misunderstood state’s rights argument. She doesn’t address her parenting salvo or her outrageous claim that Florida should continue to gain financially by denying gay married couples access to benefits that we pay for just like everyone else.
 
But Bondi can’t get around the fact that she is authorizing the state of Florida to make those pernicious arguments, which are based on invidious stereotypes about same-sex couples and our families. By way of contrast, even when it was defending DOMA, the US Department of Justice refused to rely on any asserted justifications for DOMA based on child welfare because it acknowledged the scientific consensus that same-sex parents are just as fit and capable as different-sex parents.
 
She also can’t get around the fact that she swore an oath to defend the Constitution of the United States as well as Florida’s. She can’t ignore the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling on marriage equality. She can’t ignore the 19 consecutive victories since the high court ruled handed down by judges appointed by Republicans and Democrats alike. Attorneys General and governors across the country, aware of their duty to protect the basic rights of their residents, have declined to defend anti-gay marriage bans precisely because it is clear to them that these laws are both morally and constitutionally indefensible.
 
Florida has changed dramatically since 2008, when voters approved an anti-gay marriage amendment. Our state now leads the South, with 57% in favor of marriage equality.
 
The tide has turned, and the day is coming when anti-gay marriage laws will meet the same fate as laws banning interracial marriage that limited my parent’s options.
 
As Judge Robert J. Shelby said in his ruling against Utah’s ban on same-sex marriage, “While the State cites an interest in protecting traditional marriage, it protects that interest by denying one of the most traditional aspects of marriage to thousands of its citizens: the right to form a family that is strengthened by a partnership based on love, intimacy, and shared responsibilities.”
 
My wife and I married because we love each other. We wanted to demonstrate our commitment and ensure we could take care of each other in every way possible. Our son deserves to have his parents’ marriage respected and our family protected under Florida law.

_______

Further info available through Equality Florida's website:  www.eqfl.org

Photo L. to R. Nadine Smith, with wife Andrea and son Logan
Photo Credit:    Heidi Kurpiela/Ask the Locals

 

 

The LBGTTIQQ2SA Community... ?

Does it really serve us as a minority, to include this many letters in naming our minority?  At some point, it outdoes the intention of being inclusive and instead only serves to confuse whatever issue it is we're trying to focus on.

How can people outside our community actually consider the implications of marriage equality, when they are spending time trying to decipher what 'LBGTTIQQ2SA' actually stands for?  Can they take our point of view seriously, when stumbling over what we call ourselves is really what most draws their attention?

Since we began RainbowWeddingNetwork 14 years ago, we have noticed how a lack of cohesiveness within our minority has dampened our efforts toward equality.  Perhaps this lack of cohesiveness is still being reflected in that long litany of letters...

Yes, naming ourselves is very important indeed.  But it can't be done at the expense of clarity & meaning.

 

Testimonial from a recent exhibitor

"It was such a genuine pleasure meeting you and experiencing the Expo at the Grand in Baltimore!  

Truly a great and lovely affair that had direct impact on our property.  I highly recommend this event to exhibit.  Multiple qualified leads!

You and RainbowWeddingNetwork were wonderful to work with, professional and provided a quality environment conducive to creating business opportunities.  There are many tradeshows or expositions for the bridal market and your LGBT Wedding Expo exceeded the others with a great partnership."


Dawn Puliti Senior Outside Sales

Direct (410) 554 7579 | Fax (410) 366 6734 | Mobile (443) 413 0658

Inn at the Colonnade Baltimore, a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel

4 West University Parkway, Baltimore, MD 21218

 

 

What to Expect at our LGBT Wedding Expos...

Oftentimes, couples (and sometimes first-time exhibitors) reach out to ask what they can expect at one of our LGBT Wedding Expos.  This story by Voice of America does offer a nice overview of our recent event in Baltimore.  As you'll see, you'll get an idea of what vendors are bringing in, how the other couples are making use of the resources available, and the general atmosphere we create at the events.  Check out our full expo calendar for upcoming dates near you!

http://www.voanews.com/content/baltimore-wedding-expo-caters-to-same-sex-couples/1840637.html?utm_medium=email

 

KUMU HINA: the true meaning of aloha

 

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New Documentary!  Hawaiian Values Differ From Western Traditions...

IN A WORLD THAT PUNISHES GENDER NONCONFORMITY, IMAGINE A PLACE WHERE A LITTLE BOY CAN GROW UP TO BE THE WOMAN OF HIS DREAMS, AND A LITTLE GIRL CAN RISE TO BECOME A LEADER OF YOUNG MEN. WELCOME TO KUMU HINA'S HAWAI'I. A new documentary by Emmy Award-winning directors Dean Hamer & Joe Wilson produced in association with Pacific Islanders in Communications and ITVS.

___________

 Words From the Directors...

Just two years ago, we began the making of KUMU HINA, a film about Hina Wong-Kalu, an extraordinary Native Hawaiian teacher, or kumu, and cultural leader who happens to be mahu, the Hawaiian term for those who embrace both masculine and feminine traits.

The experience was magical, capturing the ups and downs of Hinaʻs first-year of marriage to an unpredictable Tongan man and her inspiring mentorship of a young girl whose dream was to lead their schoolʻs all-male hula troupe.

The result is a provocative and inspiring glimpse of a Hawai'i rarely seen by outsiders, and a land in which there is unconditional acceptance and respect for all -- what Kumu Hina calls "the true meaning of aloha."

As the filmʻs 2014 world premiere approaches (to be announced soon), weʻre also getting ready to launch a dynamic engagement campaign to share Kumu Hinaʻs message with the world!

A hint of just how powerful this experience will be occurred over the past few weeks amidst Hawai'i's contentious debate over marriage equality.

As opponents and supporters fought tooth and nail, Kumu Hina published an Op-Ed in the Honolulu Star-Advertiser that profoundly changed the discourse.  Rather than make arguments from a Western mindset, she offered an historical perspective on gender and sexuality in Hawai'i that opened the door to what State Senator Gil Kahele called in an extraordinary speech on the Senate floor, "a full and honest renaissance of pre-Christian Hawai'iʻs history."

As the legislative battle continued, Kumu Hina became a prominent symbol of hope, and helped position Hawaiian culture as the guiding force for progress and unity in the islands.  Upon passage of the Marriage Equality Act, Gov. Neil Abercrombie invited her to deliver the opening chant at the Signing Ceremony, where there was not a dry eye in the house.

A few highlights from these events are included here, a sign of whatʻs to come with the KUMU HINA film and campaign in the year ahead.  We hope youʻll join us on the journey.

With aloha,

Joe Wilson & Dean Hamer, KUMU HINA Producers/Directors

Qwaves Films |  P.O. Box 688 |  Haleiwa, HI  96712
t: 808-629-9864  e: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
http://KumuHina.tumblr.com

 

 

The Locket - a novel

 

Locket-Front-FinalsmBeing the co-founder of RainbowWeddingNetwork.com, I have had the opportunity to write in many different styles and capacities.  From administrative documents, to articles for RainbowWeddingNetwork Magazine, even the non-fiction book "My Dangerous Commute" which outlines our experiences this past 13 years in the LGBT Wedding Industry.

However, writing fiction is my forte, and my passion.  So I have to share that I've recently self-published one of my novels, entitled "The Locket."  I invite you to check out my website for further info, and to consider downloading the book or purchasing a print copy.

One of the reasons I mention it, is because the main character, Abbey Taft, happens to be bisexual.  How many works of literature can we think of in which this is the case?

Over the years, I have found it obvious that there are many important paths to a higher degree of legitimization for our minority in modern American culture. These include depictions of LGBT characters on television shows, endorsement of LGBT issues by popular celebrities and political figures, musicians and sports figures coming out as gay or lesbian... etc.  And of course it includes serious works of literature that also depict LGBT characters.

So again, please check out my website for further info.  I think you'll enjoy the book!

www.MariannePuechl.com

 

 

 

 

 

Coming Out Stories

I remember being made fun of as a young teen, because of how masculine I was.  Many people couldn't even figure out if I was a boy or a girl, and that really threw them for a loop; often to heated anger.  A strange thing.  There were many reasons I seemed so boyish, and some of them had to do with the fact that later I realized I'm bisexual... but mostly the fact was that the way I presented myself was right for me.  It was who I was; it was how I wanted to wear my hair/my clothes and how I wanted to behave.  I didn't understand why people had to categorize themselves as male or female, masculine or feminine.  I honestly thought that it was best for us just to express ourselves honestly, as long as that didn't interfere with anyone else's self-expression.


Well, I'm reminded of this in part because of the recent press release I received.  Thought I would share.  I believe you can visit the website and get involved with the project, if you'd like.  All the best to everyone, with your own coming out journeys, and your own ongoing quest for authentic self-expression.

_______________

 

 PRESS RELEASE:  The Worst Thing About Coming Out

Rob Barracano is a professor of digital filmmaking at Champlain College and has written horror films for Hollywood and also done TV work. http://www.champlain.edu/academics/our-faculty/barracano-robert

One of his projects with Champlain film students is a web site/turned documentary called “The Worst Thing About Coming Out,” stories of gay, lesbian and trans individuals of all ages about their decision to come out and how they felt about it

http://www.worstthingaboutcomingout.com/.  On Friday, Oct. 11, which is National Coming Out Day, a documentary Rob and students made about the project will premiere at the Vermont International Film Festival. I have students who were involved who could be interviewed. Below is more info:

On Friday, 11 October, National Coming Out Day, there will be a panel discussion on identity:

SELF IDENTITY + "HOME:" Our Selves in Community.
"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."  William Shakespeare and the official premier of the documentary, "The Worst Thing About Coming Out."  Both events are part of the Vermont International Film Festival and on the festival's opening day.  They are free.

Screening 2:30 pm

Panel Discussion 3:30 pm

at Film House

Third Floor of the Lake and College Building, at Sixty Lake Street, in Burlington, Vermont

Dr. Ame Lambert and Eric Ronis of Champlain College, and Dr. Kim Fountain of RU12, will sit on the panel along with guests from the documentary and other community representatives.