Gay Wedding Blog

When my partner and I give speeches at our LGBT Wedding Expos... we often talk with couples about how, at times, we each feel powerless to enact real change.  Marriage rights has seemed elusive - for example, being enacted in a particular area such as California in 2008, only to be  overridden just a few short months later.

But there's good news:  I can say definitively, having been immersed in the gay wedding issue for over 12 years now, that marriage & family rights have in fact progressed!  -And by leaps & bounds!  It is getting better, and more and more people are counting it as a civil rights issue - which tells us that the concept is becoming more & more legitimized throughout our society.

I can also say that the feeling of powerlessness is just a perception.  Group dynamics can of course seem complex, but if we each do our part on an individual level... it does become possible to enact real & lasting change.

A prime example is our opportunity to vote.  And while one single ballot may not seem that important - well, I believe that is simply untrue.  It is in fact the case that each and every vote matters.  And perhaps even more important is the choice we make to take part in the political process:  voting rights have not always been afforded to the common people, nor to women, nor to African Americans, nor to the specially abled.  It's good to remember these historical facts, because they too remind us of the importance and sacredness of the opportunity that is before us tomorrow, Tuesday Nov. 6th.

There are such important issues on the ballot tomorrow.  Measures in states like Washington and Maryland, regarding marriage rights for the LGBT minority.  Choices between congressional candidates, whose place in Washington DC will directly affect just how much movement we see in the next few years on matters that affect each of us, every day.  And of course our choice for President - there is such a vast difference between the views of President Obama and Mr. Romney.  I encourage each of us to make it the utmost priority to get out the vote tomorrow.  It matters.

Certainly our thoughts are, for the most part, with the many people affected this week by the superstorm.  There seems so little to say, in the face of such extensive hardship and destruction.

Here at RainbowWeddingNetwork, we have contacted many of the wedding professionals we are aligned with, who are based in NJ and NYC.  Happily, most have responded that they are okay.  A few emails are still unanswered... which of course brings concern.

It seems as if any small effort we extend to help can not possibly be enough.  This brings another realization - obviously if each of us helps in a small way, we can in fact collectively make a big difference.

Our team here at RainbowWeddingNetwork has looked into donating to some of the LGBT community centers in NJ and NY that may have been affected, but instead we have decided that a more immediate (but perhaps sometimes overlooked) need is to offer assistance on behalf of the animals and pets that have also weathered this storm.

We'll be sending a donation to the Humane Society early next week. We'll include 50% of all the donations we receive for Expo ticket reservations this week and through the weekend.

Thank you for your help.

For many years, my partner Cindy & I have had the pleasure of knowing and working with Abbie Goldberg, Assistant Professor of Psychology at Clark University.  She has dedicated herself, through the past several years, to legitimizing LGBT families and individuals through research.  By quantifying the experiences of LGBT parents and prospective parents, she and her staff are building real statistics that support us, as individuals, and also legitimize our minority to the broader general public.  It is research like hers that news outlets sometimes quote, to help people understand that children raised by gay and lesbian parents are perfectly well-adjusted, healthy, loved and happy!

Recently, Abbie has published a new book, available through Amazon.  I encourage those interested to check it out, or feel free to email Abbie if you have any interest in possibly participating with her upcoming research projects!
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When gay couples become parents, they face a host of questions and issues that their straight counterparts may never have to consider. How important is it for each partner to have a biological tie to their child? How will they become parents: will they pursue surrogacy, or will they adopt? Will both partners legally be able to adopt their child? Will they have to hide their relationship to speed up the adoption process? Will one partner be the primary breadwinner? And how will their lives change, now that the presence of a child has made their relationship visible to the rest of the world?

 In Gay Dads: Transitions to Adoptive Fatherhood, Abbie E. Goldberg examines the ways in which gay fathers approach and negotiate parenthood when they adopt. Drawing on empirical data from her in-depth interviews with 70 gay men, Goldberg analyzes how gay dads interact with competing ideals of fatherhood and masculinity, alternately pioneering and accommodating heteronormative “parenthood culture.” The first study of gay men's transitions to fatherhood, this work will appeal to a wide range of readers, from those in the social sciences to social work to legal studies, as well as to gay-adoptive parent families themselves.

Abbie E. Goldberg, Associate Professor
Department of Psychology
Clark University
950 Main St.
Worcester MA 01060
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508.793.7289

Click here to visit Amazon and check out the book!

www.Homoquotables.com came to national attention a few months ago as a site offering gays and lesbians a place to find that rare product: a romantic, tender card to express deep feelings for a partner. The interest in these cards is booming, and founder Dan McLellan believes that stores across the country will soon be stocking them.

The cards showcased on Homoquotables.com are rare in the marketplace. The full line of 24 cards is targeted not only to gays and lesbians in love with their partners, but also to family members who want to send their gay and lesbian loved ones appropriate wedding, anniversary, and birthday cards. Loving sentiment is captured in stunning black and white photography and all cards are printed on high quality paper. Online cards can be customized to suit the buyer's needs.

McLellan says, "Right now our cards are being carried in Giovanni's Room in Philadelphia, Blue Stocking in New York, and Boulder Bookstore. I'm hoping to interest a national chain so that gays and lesbians and their families across the country will have easy access to tasteful cards. I want people to be able to pick up a card for a gay or lesbian loved one's birthday, or wedding, or any other occasion, without any hassle."

www.Homoquotables.com
This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
303-817-5055

Found this article today from SF Chronicle writer, Bob Egelko.  It is in-depth yet succinct, and gives a really informative overview about Proposition 8 and where it's headed as the Supreme Court considers hearing the case.  I recommend the few minutes' investment in giving it a read!

http://www.sfgate.com/politics/article/Highest-court-to-decide-on-gay-marriage-3894340.php

Reportedly (and midst a flurry of disagreements) France is considering a ban on the words 'mother' and 'father' from various official documents.  Why?  To more fully embrace gay & lesbian households!  -Of course this might also translate to single-parent households as well, which would also be forward-thinking given current statistics.

In my opinion, writing 'parent' instead - a term that obviously leaves out any connotations of gender or gender identity, is an excellent way to build on the momentum toward broader equality for all people.

My compliments to mes amies en le Republique francaise!

If the Federal Supreme Court takes up Proposition 8, where will that lead us?  Where will it take the definition of marriage?

Certainly, the Court will rule in favor of civil rights, which means that gay and lesbian couples will win the right to marry throughout the USA.  A wonderful victory, indeed!

And, it is likely that the Court will also include language that will allow religious institutions to decide for themselves whether or not they will recognize same-gender commitments.

This makes sense.

And, in my mind, this makes the victory even sweeter!  -In effect ,this will be a new Federal mandate outlining the separation of church & state.

This would not be new.  Right now, "marriage" by definition is a legal relationship as outlined by civil laws.  There are no legally binding religious connotations.  Yet a ruling by the Federal Supreme Court would cement this even more solidly within the minds of the general public.

And thus, perhaps "Civil Unions" would actually become the law of the land, rather than 'marriage'...  both for LGBT couples as well as for heterosexual couples. 

Hmm.  Something interesting to consider.

Isn't this refreshing??

Copyright 2011 Tribune Media / South FL Sun Sentinel

I had the pleasure of speaking on the phone today to one of our long-time members of RainbowWeddingNetwork.com...  Pastor April Gismondi of the Church of Ancient Ways.  She initially joined our resources at RainbowWeddingNetwork back in 2003, and had already been officiating for gay & lesbian couples for many years prior to that.  She is so enthused about supporting our community!

April is not only passionate about equal rights, she is also very knowledgeable about the logistics of putting together your ideal ceremony.  If you've chosen her as your officiant, you & your guests will enjoy a spiritually meaningful and authentic celebration... and you'll also have the opportunity of benefitting from her insights about those important details such as which partner will stand on the left or right... and why it's a good choice.  She'll add lightness and joy to your day as well, and and the kind of genuine support that comes from many years of experience.

As April says, she was serving gay & lesbian couples long before legal recognition - she realizes just how important the ceremony truly is for each and every couple who has waited so long for this special and historic moment.

If you are marrying in Long Island NY... be sure to consider reaching out to Pastor Gismondi!  She definitely has a strong endorsement from RWN!

Click for immediate access to her RWN listing:
http://www.rainbowweddingnetwork.com/component/mtree/united-states/new-york/long-island/the-ceremony/officiants--clergy--places-of-worship/church-of-ancient-ways-pastor-april-gismondi?Itemid=